A 20-something year old female sharing her trials of living with Bi-polar and why she thinks those with Bi-Polar act, feel and think the way they do.
Saturday, August 15, 2015
-Happy Pills/Jollie Jellies-
A common issue with most bipolars is that we don't want to be medicated. Either because we feel we don't need it initially, we are on a high and feel we don't need it anymore, we don't want to be medicated our whole lives, we don't like the affects of the medications, or others.
The problem is, being bipolar is like being a Diabetic, we HAVE to take our medication or else we will eventually have horrible things happen to us as a result.
The crazy thing, as much as most of us know this, from experience, we still go off our meds frequently.
Another sucky thing is, often times when you are bipolar, you not only have to take Bipolar, mood stabilizer pills but you also need to take antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds as well. The biggest reason for this is when someone has a bipolar episode they suffer from manic depression.
So I've made a few things. First is a chart. It has a list Mood Stabilizers, Anti-Depressants and Anti-Anxiety pills. In each chart the medication that is bolded are medications I know for sure I've been prescribed to since I started this whole journey. I know I've been on more but I can't remember the names of everything. Those that are highlighted are what I am on now.
Honestly I don't really feel THAT different when I'm on medication negative wise. I feel more stable, that's for sure. I do go off it here and there for a few weeks at a time or so just so I can feel those insane highs, but with highs come lows. And once the lows come I go back on the meds. I know it's not safe what I do. I went cold turkey off all my meds last year and almost killed myself, I had withdraw symptoms. I never knew that you could get withdraw from going off mood stabilizers, but you can. It feels like SHIT. I know that in order for me to be healthy emotionally and physically I have to be medicated. I KNOW this. Trust me I know this.
But I also know that I like to feel all the colors of the rainbow, per say. Sometimes I wish I could ask my doctor to lower my dosages just so I could feel the bipolar more. I know that sounds crazy, or maybe it doesn't to those who suffer from it. I was given these emotions, and I have had them for over ten years. I believe that God gives us things that only we are strong enough to handle. So why not really FEEL for once, but safely. I feel like if I bring this up to someone who is a professional they will say I am crazy.
What do you think?
Next is this silly thing I made on why many of us don't like to be medicated, or stay medicated. I know there are other reasons, these were just things I have said before and hear a lot from friends and family.
I wish that those with bipolar could live without being medicated, but I honestly don't believe we could live without medication. This is something we have no control of, it's a chemical imbalance in our brains. So unless they come out with something they can zap our brains with to fix it (though I'm not sure I want to be fixed.) then I don't believe that one with manic highs and lows can ever live a safe, full, happy life without some kind of medication to help.
Now something to make you laugh:
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